LGBTQ+ What Are All Those Letters, and what's up with Pronouns?
LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+…so many letters, but what do they all mean? Do they refer to sexualities, gender identity, or something else? Let’s break it down first, then we’ll dig deeper:
First, the terms:
Sexual Orientation – Who you are attracted to romantically and physically.
Gender Identity – One's innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither.
Gender Expression – how you express your gender on the outside.
Now that we have that settled, let’s look at the letters and where they line up.
Lesbian – Sexual Orientation
Gay – Sexual Orientation
Bisexual – Sexual Orientation
Transgender – Gender Identity
Queer or Questioning? – Umbrella terms, not specific to orientation or identity
We’ll get to I and A later
The + is to allow for expanded understandings of sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression as we learn more.
Next, definitions.
Lesbian. The dictionary definition is “a homosexual woman.” That’s not particularly helpful so let’s use a different definition. A lesbian is woman that experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to another woman.
Gay. Dictionary definition – “(of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man).” Again, not very useful. Here’s another option “Anyone who is homosexual. Usually used to describe a man that experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to another man.” It’s important to note that while the word gay is generally used for men, it is not exclusively used by men. Other LGBTQ+ people use the term gay also.
Bisexual. Dictionary definition – “sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women.” This does not leave room for non-binary people (more on that later), so let’s use this definition instead “A person emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to more than one sex, gender or gender identity though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree.”
Are Bisexual people non-monogamous? No, it simply means that they are attracted to more than one sex.
Does it mean that they can’t be faithful in a relationship? No more or less that a straight or gay person can or cannot.
Transgender. Dictionary says, “denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.” This doesn’t quite cover it. Here’s a more comprehensive explanation. Transgender is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.
Trans is the preferred abbreviation.
Terms like transsexual and tranny are derogatory terms and should never be used. Also, trans people are not drag queens.
Refer to people as trans man, or trans woman (or just man and woman!)
Gender identity is not directly related to sexual orientation – you can be a trans man and attracted to men, or a trans man and attracted to women.
Queer. Dictionary definition “denoting or relating to a sexual or gender identity that does not correspond to established ideas of sexuality and gender, especially heterosexual norms.” Queer is an umbrella term for people that are not heterosexual or cisgender (I know, another new term, we’re getting to that too!). Queer is also used by some in the LBGTQ+ community as a “catch-all” phrase.
Questioning refers to someone that is unsure of or exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity.
In the expanded LBTQIA+ a couple of new letters are introduced. Specifically, I and A so let’s get to them.
Intersex. Intersex people are born with a variety of differences in their sex traits and reproductive anatomy. There is a wide variety of difference among intersex variations, including differences in genitalia, chromosomes, gonads, internal sex organs, hormone production, hormone response, and/or secondary sex traits.
Asexual. The lack of a sexual attraction or desire for other people.
Whew, ok we made it this far. We’re not done yet though. There are a couple of terms mentioned above that we haven’t defined yet. And there are a few others that we need to add!
Non-Binary. An adjective describing a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories. You may also hear terms like Gender nonconforming/Gender nonbinary/Genderqueer. These terms have a similar meaning as non-binary.
Cisgender. A term used to describe a person whose gender identity aligns with those typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth. So essentially someone who is not trans or non-binary.
Pansexual. Someone who has the potential for emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender though not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree. Sometimes used interchangeably with bisexual.
Gender-expansive. A person with a wider, more flexible range of gender identity and/or expression than typically associated with the binary gender system. Often used as an umbrella term when referring to young people still exploring the possibilities of their gender expression and/or gender identity.
Here's an infographic that might help explain some of this for you further . . .
Gender Identity - Gender identity is all about how you, in your head, think about yourself.
Gender Expression - Gender expression is all about how you demonstrate your gender through the ways you act, dress, behave, and interact–whether that is intentional or unintended.
Sex Assigned at Birth - Biological sex, or sex assigned at birth, refers to the objectively measurable organs, hormones, and chromosomes you possess.
Attraction - Sexual orientation is all about who you are physically, spiritually, and emotionally attracted to.
This is a lot of information to digest. The most important thing is to be inclusive, respectful, and identify others in the way they ask of you.
*Many of the definitions above are taken from the Human Rights Campaign Glossary of terms. You can find the original here. HRC is the nations leading LGBTQ+ equality organization.
Now Pronouns
(Sometimes referred to as PGP or Preferred Gender Pronouns, although the community uses simply Pronouns, or Personal Pronouns. Preferred should not be used
What is a pronoun – Back to English grammar we go! A pronoun is a word we use in place of a proper noun, like someone’s name. For example, “Have you seen what Mary posted online today, she is so funny.” She is the pronoun. Now that we got the grammar out of the way, let’s talk about why pronouns matter.
In English, our most commonly used pronouns (he/she) specifically refer to a person’s gender. For queer, gender non-conforming, non-binary, and transgender people, these pronouns may not fit, can create discomfort, and can cause stress and anxiety.
A recent study showed that in transgender youth, using correct pronouns and names reduces depression and suicide risks.
Having trouble understanding why this would upset someone? Think about your pronoun (it’s probably “he” or “she”). Now imagine someone calling you the one you don’t think of yourself as. Imagine them doing it over and over and over, even after you’ve corrected them. Here’s a video that helps explain it further.
Normalize the use of pronouns; when you introduce yourself, include your pronouns. Hi, I’m Ciara, my pronouns are she/her. When you do this it’s an invitation for others to do the same, lets people know how you want to be addressed, and helps normalize the conversation around gender identity.
What if I make a mistake?
It happens, we all make mistakes! Apologize, do better, and move on quickly. If you make a mistake in front of a group of people, you may want to apologize to the person in private later on – no need to make a scene or draw a lot of attention. No one likes that! The best thing to do is to use the correct pronoun the next time.
I see pronouns in people’s email signatures, why is that?
Including pronouns in your email signature and social media profiles is important for inclusivity. It normalizes discussions about gender. It is a way of showing respect and support for the LGBTQ+ community, especially trans and gender non-conforming people. It lets people know how you want to be addressed, taking the guesswork out of it.
Again, the most important thing is to be inclusive, respectful, and identify others in the way they ask of you.
*Some of the content here is from https://lgbtlifecenter.org/pronouns/